It Is What It Is

I have been in a "funk" lately. I know the reason. I have been working on it. It is what it is.

Just for those of you who may not know me real well, when I get into a "funk" or down, I shut down. I don't mean I crawl into a corner and cry myself to sleep, but I become unsocial. I have trust issues so I don't talk my problems out. On top of that, I don't want to be "that guy" when I'm out, so I don't go out. "That Guy" is referred to the guy that seems to be down everytime you see him, depressed, etc.

Ok, so something was said to me today that hit me. Even before that, I have spent a lot of time "reflecting", if you will. And I have decided that this is the start of a new chapter in my life. I have decided to do things much differently. I will explain more shortly.....

All of my life, I'm not sure that I say what I feel. I have always said what I needed in order to get what I want. I've been called a smooth talker all of my life and the majority of the time it was meant as a compliment. I now realize it is a curse. When I pray, I have to pray for the same thing several times, in several different ways and beg God to make my heart mean what I'm saying and praying. I have "smoothed talked" for so long, I am terrified that I am "smooth talking" God. It sounds funny, but this is a legitimate fear of mine. This literally wears me out emotionally. It drains me.

People have told me that the very fact that I worry about this and think about it means that I DO feel what I am praying for. Well, for me it's just not that easy.

I have concluded all of this is from the enemy. I may be wrong, but that is my only explanation for my weariness after calling out to the Father.

------------------- SO ------------------

I have decided to do certain things differently. Tomorrow is the start of a new chapter in my life. My eating habits, my exercising, my Bible time, my prayer time, my new found enjoyment of fasting, my socializing and so many other things. There are many things in life that I want RIGHT NOW, but I -WILL- be patient and wait on Him.

- I WILL live a God first life!
- I WILL give myself as a living sacrifice!
- I WILL treat my body as His, and be a good steward of it!
- I WILL continue to tithe and give offerings, but will remain open for more!
- I WILL be patient for His will, for His glory and for His honor!
- I WILL love as He loves, and stop judging others!
- I WILL stop wanting a companion, more money, more toys and focus on the ONE thing that I need to want, and that is to be told "Well done, my good and faithful servant"!

---- and I will praise Him, thank Him, worship Him and cry out to Him in all that I do!

Father, I pray that you create a stirring within my soul and my heart. I pray that you draw me closer to you than ever before and use me for your glory! I thank you that I can come to you directly because of the blood of Jesus Christ and it's in the name of Jesus that I ask for your protection and guidance! Amen (so be it).

My Fast

I was going to post about my fast, but I've decided not to. I'm not sure what changed my mind, but for some reason I have decided to keep that day to myself.

HOWEVER, here is a picture of the cutest 5 year old I've ever seen! (ummm, she is my niece, but I swear I'm not biased lol). She doesn't have the outstanding blue eyes that I have, however she don't need them!



-chris

Let me start with today.

I had a blast. I had breakfast with my friend Sissy, then we went jet ski'ing until like 1 ish. Went to St. Augustine and back. I had so much fun! Got her SOAKED and I thought it was funny, then out of no where (seriously, I was sitting still with no waves) my jet ski just tips over and dumps me. The circumstances surrounding the incident was embarrassing, yet humbling LOL to say the least. But, when her and I hang out, we always have a good time and me being made a fool out of was no exception LOL.

After her and I returned, she left to go serve the homeless, as she does every Sunday and I went to pick up my friend from Columbus, Cortez. He is an artist and staff member that I had on my old label. We went jet ski'ing and then to ihop to eat. He had never been on a jet ski and said he enjoyed it.

WELL..............

Tomorrow is my first fast. I have tried fasting, but I cheat somewhere in it. And truth is, during my last fast (which I don't consider a fast since I didn't go through with it), I forgot what I was doing and ate lunch, plus I don't feel that my heart was in it. It was for the Imagine campaign, and I think my "passion" for this campaign started RIGHT AFTER the fast. So, tomorrow is food AND Internet. Yes, I said Internet. Anyone who knows me well will tell you that I drive around all day holding my phone and surfing the internet, Instant Messaging and emails. (i was going to keep my email on my phone, until a friend of mine that fired my concscience so she could take over lol, convinced me that would be wrong, even though my emails come to my phone as text.)

Paul said to pray without ceasing, right? Well, if I pray during normal eating time, and my normal Internet time, then I would be on the right path to praying without ceasing. (yes, i'm serious. my internet usage is seriously this bad) In fact, I was just told this morning by a that same good friend that I check my phone at church, and when we go to the movies. I think I check it without realizing sometimes. FYI: the purpose of my fast is just simply to give myself as a living sacrifice; to try to hear God; to draw closer to the Lord and take a step of faith that I am willing to give Him all of my distractions, with the help of Jesus Christ! In addition, I have a HUGE decision that I need to make that will affect a lot of things, and am searching for a revelation!

For anyone reading this, please pray for me. This will be very difficult as it's my first fast, but I want it BAD. I think it will be rewarding and I am excited.

I feel so blessed. I think that I may see things that God is doing in my life, but some of the BIGGEST things that I crave, want and desire, I think that He may make me wait a little while longer. My mom has told me for years "Now my dear son, patience just isn't one of your virtues"... oh how my mom knows me!

I'm excited, people! Good things coming. I love where I am at in life and am couting my blessings! I may hit a "funk" from time to time, but I just gotta pray harder. I'll probably post an entry on my last funk soon.

Anyway, thanks for reading. In the meantime, please check out a band that I am enjoying working with!

www.MySpace.com/BlamelessMusic

-chris

Blanks!

Well, for 2 days I have been wanting to post a new entry to my blog. I have been thinking all day for the past couple of days about things I want to post, but then when I sit down I'm BLANK! I have no clue what to say. So, I thought that I would simply share this little bit of NOTHING!

Please support and check out some great music!

www.myspace.com/blamelessmusic

-chris

Over 6 Hours At Chili's

First of all, the new Da T.R.U.T.H. cd comes out today! I'm excited and have been waiting for this for awhile now!!!

So, I'm new at the blogging thing, but I think I'm going to try to "blog" a lot. That's how you're supposed to do it, right?

So, I go out last night and sit at Chili's for over 6 hours with a friend. She's a great Christian woman and we just sat there, talked, laughed, told stories, gave each other advice, shared our weaknesses.... I don't know how to explain how great this was. (Oh, and for those of you wondering, yes, there was NO drinking LOL). I had more fun doing that, then when I was running around the night clubs and all that mess. God has put a couple of people in my life that has changed my life, and for that I'm forever thankful!

I never thought I could have fun sitting in one place for that long with no alcohol. Especially with ADHD (which, last night caught me off guard and got me sidetracked some haha). On that same note, I never thought I could have fun in church during a service. I went to church as a kid all the way up to high school, and then occasionally from there on out. NEVER had fun during a sermon. I never thought I would have a true passion for the things of Jesus. I never thought I would look to the Father for advice, or understand as I'm reading my Bible, or WANT to pray and feel bad because I don't think I pray enough, or BEG the Holy Spirit to convict me of my wrongs, or, or, or.

Pay attention! I have realized that by totally giving my life to Christ, and striving to live a God-First life that He has given me all of these thoughts, feelings, emotions, convictions, hungers, desires, etc. I've asked for them and BOOM! If you are a Christian and think "ok, this person is overally excited about this or that" or if you're unsaved and feel that some of these people are exaggerating their feelings, then I challenge you. I challenge you to first make sure you are saved. Second of all I challenge you that for 2 weeks, you pray every morning and every night (even if its just a few seconds) that God give you the excitement, the love, the understanding, the hunger and the desire that you see in all of these people that you feel may be fake.

Please don't hesitate. Act now! (LOL, now i've turned into an infomercial). This is an amazing feeling that all of you need!

And then God will put the best people possible into your lives. Even if it's just one more person that push's you and all of that, it will work out tremendously!

If anyone is reading this, thank you for reading.

-chris

Take It Up A Notch!

Take it up a notch!

I don't know how to start this "blog". I have so much on my mind and trying to get it typed up is difficult. Plus, I just had one of those large RedBull's!

Let me talk about Celebration Church for a second. I don't know if everyone realizes what we have. I have attended many different church's over the years, but to have what we have is a true blessing. I have NEVER been to a house of God like ours.

Worship: Even pastors and members of LARGER and more well known church's than ours all say that our worship band is amazing. And it's true! We have great writers, great singers, great musicians, whom have all been touched directly by the finger of God. I mean, alot of the time, I truly feel that Hillsong would have a hard time keeping up with our talent. My mom watch's the internet campus from Indiana from time to time, and she is totally amazed at what we have. She goes to the big time conferences of Joyce Meyer and the huge youth events that are in stadiums and such. She has told me that our worship is like those, or even better. We must be careful not to worship the worship, but be thankful that we have what we have to bring us close to the Lord.

Pastors: Ok, I still don't think that I know how many pastors we have lol. But, look at it. Each one is annointed and all of them in different ways. Our Sr. Pastor (Stovall) has the energy of 15 year old kid thats drank a case of Red Bulls. He's funny, entertaining, but teach's the Word and makes his messages relevant. All of the pastors that I've heard live have different gifts and you can just tell are annointed by the Spirit. This is so refreshing!

Building: Ok, some people may complain that we are in a warehouse. My first time attending, as I pulled up I was like "Really? A warehouse church? Please, no!". When I walked in, I was in amazement. You just can't tell that it was once a warehouse. We have a coffee shop, friendly people and a HUGE sanctuary. Our building is amazing. It is! I love it and feel honored that I can worship God in that house!

Congregation: Not sure if any of you have noticed, but we have some of everything at church! I mean if you need a banker, lawyer, invester, lawncare guy, stump grinder (that would be me LOL). I mean we have musicians (Blameless is awesome), real estate agents, and every other career person you can think of. If you need ANY kind of service, and take time to ask around, we could probably find it "in house".

Groups: singles, overcoming addictions, overcoming homosexuality, older folks, young'ins, couples, etc, etc, etc. There will always be like 4 different groups for each person!

I'm saying all of that to say this. We are blessed. OUR PASTOR JUST PREACHED AT THE HILLSONG CONFERENCE!!!! One of the most well known church's, at one of the biggest conferences in the world! Do you guys understand this? God is doing things here!

You see what all that I've said that we have now. I haven't even began to touch the surface. People know of our church and our pastor world wide! Think once we get this building, what more we will do here at our home base. God is going to provide, no doubt. But, do we really not want to be part of HIS work? HIS will? HIS glory? HIS praise? HA! I REFUSE to be one of the people that when I get to Heaven I have one less reward to lay at Jesus' feet. We all raise our hands and worship inside that building, but we need to get up off of our butts, grab that check book and add another $10 to the Imagine campaign above what we already send. TEN DOLLARS! Thats 2 Starbucks visits.

..... And if you're not tithing.... Please start with that. Tithe and tithe for the right reasons. I believe that the rewards that the Scripture talks about are heavely rewards for our tithes, but trust me from experience, TITHE! Even if it's not Celebration, PLEASE TITHE!

We need to "Take It Up A Notch"! Our Imagine campaign is lacking, and it's because of us. I don't believe it's because of the economy. If we have faith, and I mean TRUE faith, then the economy has no bearing on us.

I'm sorry if this seems like I am rambling on. I have a passion for tithing, and even though Imagine isn't tithing, my passion has spilled over into this. I believe in the name of Jesus that we will pay cash for this building, with no financing needed!

-chris

First Thing's First

Welcome to my blog!

As I post here, you will notice that I can be random, crazy, and sometimes not making sense. Sometimes things will come from my heart and be extremely deep, and other times I'll just be posting something that I find funny.

Feel free to leave your thoughts. Thank you for visiting. God is good!!!!!!

-chris